Those who don’t conform are also more likely to look within for answers because the external answers are fabrications, lies or are unacceptable. Being “different” means that you’re going to be looked at differently, spoken to differently and treated differently. You see, your personality is so unique that they can’t fit you into a neat and tidy box. I'm trained as a counselor. Please do not copy, reproduce, or translate any articles without permission. Update: I don't even fit in at Church. That's how I look at it. Personally, I’ve often felt like I don’t fit in at school, work, and even around friends and family. I don’t see myself lasting for awhile. I function in society because in the end, once you're an adult, you have to, but I love to travel and that is what keeps me sane. At work they'll follow the dress code, and avoid saying anything too controversial. Sign in . Anonymous. I don't fit into society either why should we all be the same don't fit in stand out and keep your head high focus on your school work, just remember that if you succeed all these losers who are mean will be working for you someday, 0 0. Another more mild consequence for someone may be that many people don't want to be friends with them, and just politely ignore them, which they're fine with. People can be physically assaulted, black balled from their community, have their property vandalized, or have their family members threatened and harassed. The other extreme isn't anything to joke about. Because, if I was, I would be somewhere else, having a different conversation, with a different set of people, and showing up more fully and completely as me. Will I ever fit into society? Now that I am a little older, I am fine feeling I don't really fit into society. Another is being too shy or insecure around other people. I find shared experiences when I speak with people who know what it is like to feel different—people with disabilities, migrants, creative people, gay people, introverts, recovering addicts, and many others.Though we don’t share those particular characteristics, our mutual understanding of what it is like to be different connects us, powerfully.We know what it is like to be judged because of who we are. #shorts, 6 Asian Myths That Aren’t True (Based on Science! Sometimes, it is these very reasons that make society shun them. Everything I do to try to get better never works. Being someone who can’t fit into society doesn’t mean that you’re “weird”, just different. For some people, splitting into two selves is simply a choice they make. I have a nice job lined up. My social skills are too poor and my brain just won't let me function around others. For example, someone may mostly be similar to their social circle, but get condescending little comments for one opinion they hold. This is one of the classic solutions, used by people who were raised in stifling small towns the world over. Society is validating what a person should and should not look like, what the definition of beauty is, that happiness is when you are successful, that you will only be liked if you’re ‘normal’, so on and so forth. And with humans being social creatures, human interaction is an essential part of living. I have a Master of Social Work (MSW) degree, and a B.A. Plus, saying hello to a stranger is like showing up with a Christmas gift when I had no idea we were exchanging gifts and I didn’t get you anyway. At the other extreme someone may blatantly stand out from the norm and draw everyone's negative attention. However, that, in turn, can make them fall into a state of depression. Social situations are exhausting, and the older I get, the less energy I have to pretend otherwise. Those who don’t fit into society sometimes debate whether or not they should try to fit in or don’t bother at all. We know what i… I wish the human race were smarter as a whole, but I can't change it. Showering in the Morning vs Evening: Which is Better? Whatever it is, when you’re not part of society, you’re definitely going to feel like something is missing from your life. It’s time that society needs to start accepting as well as respecting those individuals as just “different” and not weird so that they may be able to embrace and accept their own individuality. You know, don't stick to the trodden path in life ie: 9-5 office job with a husband and 2.5 kids, don't stick to the path in the wild either, ma bad! The mainstream herd becomes a majority and will marginalize anyone who does not fit into that group who then feel ostracized and abnormal. People who go this route also tend to develop subtle little ways of finding each other. I live in it, and have to work in it (which S U C K S), but the fact that I don't fit in is a testament to our current society. How do you think about the answers? Sounds dramatic, doesn't it? Others feel more forced into it, because their 'real' self would be too misunderstood and rejected otherwise. I don't fit into society because my brain can't keep up with the social dynamism of others. Finding your tribe is more important than ‘fitting in’ Honestly, if you have to change yourself to fit in … It can all reflect a high school movie mentality where everyone is a jock or a stoner or some other archetype. People in certain subcultures, or who have particular philosophies towards life, find they have to do this. I get good grades and go to a top college. I've been writing about social skills for over ten years. That will make anyone feel like they’re an outcast and there’s definitely nothing wonderful about feeling like one. krispykritter. Having different hair colors? But in general, I really, really hope he's right, and that Muslims don't fit into British society at all well. Favorite Answer. I’ve felt socially rejected all my life. However this kind of thinking, about how you don't fully fit into any group, can place a bit too much importance on the idea that people fit into neat little clans, and their social lives revolve around what clique they're a member of. If the situation you're in seems bad enough, and you don't see it getting better any time soon, then it may be the right call to move somewhere else. 9 Answers. If someone just varies from the mainstream in a harmless way, they shouldn't have to give in to the masses. It’s incredibly frustrating. These reasons range from living a different lifestyle to just being a “unique” individual altogether. The extent to which someone doesn't fit in could be very subtle and more irritating than anything. Confusing not having to justify our actions with being unable to justify our actions. And most people use “stereotypes” to successfully communicate with others. In that way, society might not agree or be in line with the things that you do, but they will at least allow you to be a part of them. “You’ll learn, as you get older, that rules are made to be broken. cos society sucks. These days, if you see someone in a shopping mall who is bare-faced, you'd look at them as if... How to Use “Ok Boomer” in an Office #shorts. It's like I'm completely different from everyone else. The rest of the time, they are generally excluded and ignored, because who they represent doesn’t fit into the jigsaw of a community. It is hard when you feel you should live up to society's expectations. Though I'm also a therapist and can offer in-depth, personalized help. You would have to compromise your ideals to ensure that you and the society have both ends meet. Everyone I see dress like gangsters or rappers and just focus on girls and stuff. I have never been to a party in my life - mainly because I haven't been invited, but I wouldn't go to one if I was. I feel like I have a giant rock in my brain that isn't supposed to be there that is preventing me from living life. Never have been. There are times when people who can’t fit into society choose to not be part of it because they’re misunderstood for having different ideals. This is intimidating for some people as they don’t know what to do when they’re around you. I don't know what it must be like from a male perspective, but even women have the same complexities. Let me also know what kind of videos you want to see on my channel. I'm shy, quiet, bit socially awkward. People who don’t fit into society often feel like they’re missing out on the things that other people in society get to experience. It's when you don't fit into the social norm, and that's what's causing you problems. Another is being too shy or insecure around other people. Because the new “normal” may just be being “different”. A large portion of people who don’t fit in are highly sensitive to the emotional climate of people and environments. I may as well describe myself. There's no way I can control the outside world or solve everyone's problems for them, but here are my thoughts. Not the earth or the universe. I was shy, awkward, and lonely until my mid-twenties and created this site to be the kind of guide I wish I'd had at the time. It won't be possible for everyone, but if it's an option, seek out a group of like-minded people. We don't really know who we are because of how much society has impacted us. Because no one is there for them, they have to face everything on their own and it can be a great burden to carry. Stop caring about rest of the people. Lacking specific interpersonal skills is one broad type of social problem. ), When You Exercise & Eat at the Same Time #shorts, In 2020, There Were 82 HDB Flats That Were Resold For Over $1 Million, 42 COVID-19 Cases Today (10 Jan); All Are Imported, Body Parts Found At Sriwijaya Air Crash Site; Authorities Focusing on Search & Rescue, Woman Divorces Husband Coz Husband Bought Bra That Were Too Small For Her, The Reason Why Nurses Don’t Wear Gloves When Giving COVID-19 Vaccine Explained. It's when you don't fit into the social norm, and that's what's causing you problems. What can you do if your problem is that you don't fit in? There’s a need to understand what someone who can’t fit into society is going through in order to make it less of a scary world for them to live in. The first thing you can do is making some close friends with whom you feel 'yourself'. It might be due to my conservative, Pentecostal upbringing, or possibly because while my friends were praying-through, playing sports, or working on figuring out the fairer sex, I was oblivious to reality. Maybe there's a particular bar in your town that caters to your subculture, or a monthly meet up that's organized online, or an obscure club at your university you could join. Many people have a difference or two that gets them this kind of light flak from others, and they mostly just put up with it. They'll decide it's practical to present themselves as an average person on the surface, while they do their own thing in their free time. TW: Suicide talk. Is different being a hipster? Relevance. That's not the answer though. A society with its standards, expectations and societal norms is exactly what makes life harder for those who can’t fit into society. They Feel Like The Entire World Is Against Them. It's also one thing to consciously choose to be pragmatic and superficially go along with social norms in order to get something you want. I'm Chris Macleod. Why I Don’t Fit Into Society. It's one thing to have actual weaknesses in your social skills, which people are giving you legitimate criticism and feedback about. Deep thinkers. They often ask themselves if it’s more important what other people think about them, or what they feel about themselves at the end of the day. The consequences can differ too. Sometimes it's that I feel like the oddball of the group. Think of the young clean cut office worker who goes to hardcore punk shows every Saturday. This can … A free guide to getting past social awkwardness, Having different interests and priorities than most of the people around you (for some reason, the example that always comes to mind for me is someone living up in a U.S. town where the entire population seems obsessed with high school or college sports, while they couldn't be any less interested), Having different beliefs or values than everyone around you (e.g., being the only artsy hippy in a closed-minded town, being the only conservative religious person in a dorm full of people who love drinking and partying), Just being the odd person out who gets picked on (e.g., being the 'weird' guy at your job), Being part of a legitimately marginalized group, like being gay in a more intolerant part of the country, The proven way to get past boring small talk, Instantly beat self-consciousness with the, Busting the myth that you have to get a "more interesting life" to be interesting. 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